Of Assassins, Storks and Babies
by Shigan
Summary: It has been done before, but someone had to do the Noir verison! It's Kirika's time for the "Big Talk", and who to turn to, but poor Mireille? All in good fun. To the honor of our poor moms and dads that once had to sit this through. XD


THIS IS ALL IN GOOD FUN AND BEGGED ME TO BE WRITTEN. IT IS NOT TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY AND EVEN LESS PUT IN ANY TIMEFRAME OF MY OTHER STORIES. AND REMEMBER, WE ALL HAD TO FIND THAT OUT, ONCE UPON A TIME.

NOW READ.

**Of Assassins, Storks and Babies**

Sundays were peaceful, lazy and quiet. Sundays were good.

Yuumura Kirika stood at her traditional post at the window to her and Mireille's shared apartment, observing the traffic of the street below. She often did this beside her drawing hobby, for all the things the blonde Corsican beauty understood about her small partner, she couldn't understand this. Kirika doubted that anyone could really comprehend (Which was a good bet, since Mireille couldn't) what she found so enthralling about a sometimes almost empty backstreet. To be honest, from time to time, she didn't know herself.

Maybe it was simply the sheer boredom of mundane everyday life that was displayed on the street by it's by-passers that fascinated her, a part of life which Kirika had been completely denied up until recently. Everyday traits like joy, stress and peace had been fairly unfamiliar things to her for the most part of her life, or the small part which she could recall at all.

For all she knew, Soldats had born, raised and educated her in all ways benefiting for a top class assassin. What they had missed with obvious clarity was the simple aspects of being a human, and most information about the subject had effectively been filtered away from whatever methods Altena had decided to educate her in.

Mireille had with ill covered horror discovered her lacking of education in some of the most fundamental of subjects a few weeks after returning from the manor. This caused by a documentary shown on TV where Kirika had failed to recognize a stern looking man with moustache who had been shouting in German, she failed to recall the name but he had apparently caused some major global event approximately half a century ago.

The blonde had since then called it her duty to re-educate her in a proper way, in terms more fitting for a girl her age. She was still a bit unsure on why people disliked another moustache decorated man called Stalin but never in her wildest dreams, or nightmares, had she imagined that there was so many ways to put together a few pieces of cloth to the garbs defined as 'clothes'.

This subject called fashion was obviously Mireille's favourite one, Kirika approached it with lesser enthusiasm but stood her ground, since whatever that made Mireille happy was just fine. And if dressing her up in a top which sponsored the text 'Prada' instead of a regular one made her beautiful partner more happy so why not?    

She also noticed that cooking really wasn't up her alley and decided to leave all the domestic stuff to the older woman while math had been fairly easy to grasp, together with the other things Mireille labelled as 'school' subjects. Biology became her ace since she had already known about most of the body's vital organs, weak points and how to use them in a far more morbid way than the average high school biology book expected.

She learned however, that flowers and plants were far more complicated organisms than she could ever dream of. Mireille had teased her warmly about how she could be totally engrossed in the books, warning her about her eyesight and the horror of glasses while on the contrary buying her new books with the same fervour as she bought clothes.

Yes, studying was fun, especially biology.

The figure of a young woman walked past the window, lulling to the small bundle in her arms which Kirika identified as a baby, barely a week old by the look of it. The sight of the happy woman set off Kirika's already unfocused mind in a new spin, reminding her suddenly of some parts of the biology book which she hadn't been able to intercept fully. Maybe she should ask Mireille, the woman seemed to have an answer to most of her questions. The blonde woman sat at the pool table, browsing away her time on the net like usual at this time of the day. She wasn't occupied, good.

"Mireille?" She said in a barely audible voice, her partner still heard her however, she always did.

"Yes Kirika? What is it?" The woman didn't raise her gaze as she lifted her teacup towards her lips. Kirika noticed that she had her lips curled up in a small smile whenever they were speaking, it warmed her heart to know that a few word from her could trigger such a reaction from the blonde.

Unsure of how to put her question into words, Kirika halted. Thinking it over and rephrasing it a few times before finally mouthing it to the blonde who was peacefully sipping her tea.

"Where do babies come from?"

Mireille stopped sipping her tea. In a matter of fact, the teacup was no longer even in her hand.

CRASH!

Maybe she shouldn't have asked…?

"Ok… lets take it from the start" Mireille's eyes looked like those of a frightened deer caught in the headlight, an expression that was entirely unfamiliar for Kirika to see on her blonde partner's face. They were settled with Mireille in her usual chair and herself on the floor, a position that served well in the means of a teacher and her pupil.

Kirika had never seen the Corsican beauty in such a distressed, and not to mention _nervous_ state before. The making of babies must truly be a challenging, if not dreadful process to cause a seasoned assassin discomfort like this. She was however, determined to learn as much as Mireille could teach her, the curiosity in her studious self stirred by her partner's behaviour.

"First…" Mireille's face paled when the girl in front of her leaned in, eagerness clearly painted in her features. "… there is a very, very small tadpole."

"Tadpole?" Kirika's eyes widened in surprise.

"Yes, it looks like one, but it's much smaller in size."

"Oh"

"It swims around and searches for an egg…"

"An egg? Like those we eat…?"

"No! It's also very small."

"…ok"

"And when the tadpole finds the egg, they merge and are then called an embryo. The embryo then becomes a baby after nine months." Looking quite astonished, the girl formed a small 'o' wither mouth while absorbing the information. Being a natural gifted analyzer however, she had soon sorted it through and was ready for another round.

"Mireille?"

"Yes Kirika?" The blonde failed to hide the fear in her voice.

"Where does all this happen?"

Mireille's face paled another layer of white.

"Well… it has a lot of moisture" Kirika moved closer. "…and is very warm…" The blond woman was seating now. "… well, in the place where two people are having sex!"

The younger woman looked dumbfounded for a few moments, this was after all, a concept she was familiar with.

"The bathtub!"

"NO!"

"No? But the bed isn't very…"

Then a thought struck her.

"Mireille."

"Yes Kirika…" Her voice sounded very tired, for such a short lecture. Which was rather strange since Kirika didn't think the concepts they had discussed this far being very hard to grasp, but utterly trivial.

"Could it be that the making of a baby is a result of two people having sex?"

"Yes! Thank God you understood! Most people use protection against this, so intercourse doesn't always result in a baby."

But Kirika didn't find this relieving at all. To Mireille's surprise, her brows tightened and formed an expression that the blond woman recognized as concern.

Thinking that the worst had blown over, the blond smiled at her younger partner, rising out of her chair to get a start on their dinner.

"But Mireille…" Kirika started again, with an unexpected worried voice.

"Hmm…?"

"…what if I've made you pregnant!?"

DUNK


End file.
